bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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