I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
