Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
