If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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