So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
