Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
