I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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