my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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