$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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