Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
