did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
