What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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