So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
