my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize