OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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