I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize