Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
