Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
