You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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