do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
