You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
