just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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