fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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