dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
