May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
