I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
