I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
