we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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