What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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