I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you inspire me to be a worse person
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
