so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
