words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
