Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
