Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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