I heard we made out
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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