oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
