you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
