I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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