How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
