My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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