How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
