I just saw a hot homeless man
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
