Swine flu. Run for my life!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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