Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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