so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This is my gift to your gina
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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