Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
