i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
