I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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