She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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