Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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