Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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