I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
