Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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