Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
tell me about the eggs
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
