Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
