i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
