If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
