you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
