Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
