they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
