Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
