shes about as inviting as chlamydia
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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