Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
