Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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