guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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