He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
