I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
