I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
