Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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