So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
not ubering you a puppy
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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