No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
