Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
