Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
