At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
