you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
