EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
