let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize