Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We had sex on a dog bed..
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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