Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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