I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
