they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
