There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
