I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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